he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
