We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
