:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
