did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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