the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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