I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't want my vagina anymore.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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