she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
