it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
