mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
