he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
