i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
