She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just puked most of my soul out..
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