he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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