I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
