I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
whose ass print is on the piano?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
