Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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