I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
