Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
