Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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