im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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