I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
