if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
vagina is talking i cant
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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