Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
