Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
