And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
