I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
