I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
