But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your thong is hanging out like whoa
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
