Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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