You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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