Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize