Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize