Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
