And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
