for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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