I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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