How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
third nipple confirmed
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
