so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
