Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
