seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
