i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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