yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
