i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
