it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have feelings that need drinking.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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