that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
