i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
