I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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