I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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