Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So much Jack, so little girl.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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