Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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