Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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